The real world....

Alrighty...Havent written in this blog for a really long time. Just looking back over my thinking over secondment and third year and theres no reason I cant keep doing this.

Thats the thing with this rollercoaster... Its built on questions.

Its 30 March 2012. Ive spent the last two months in Australia saving for what I thought I wanted....to travel to Europe. But what I think I really needed was the distance and space to realise just how much I love theatre, performing and the arts and how many connections and potential collaborators I have made from the opportunities Toi Whakaari gave me.

Being so intensely involved in drama for three years was tiring and I definitely became complacent in certain ways. Not doing it anymore, makes me realise how lucky I was and that I really cant imagine doing anything else.

My Big Questions/Ideas on my mind:

-Realising your first show

I have an idea for a show I want to make a reality. I wont lie- its a scary thought and I always convinced myself that I wasn't capable. That was pure fear talking. But I can either sit around waiting for the phone to ring or....make my own opportunities.

-Imagination
This has been in my thinking for a while now. Its such a key part of acting and was a thread that ran through everything I did at drama school. Whether it was becoming my bouffon "Rolf" and giving into it or the imagination mapping I did during solos....its always been there. How do I as a performer take my focus away from " ME" to the specifics of the world the character is in? My attention needs to be on the givens and not how I am doing....this is how I've had moments where I suprised myself onstage.

-Music and Me
Its always been there. I absolutely love songwriting and my big step is going to be doing something about it. After all, I want my music to be out there. Its not about it being "ready". GOAL: Record an EP this year.

Its also been a huge part of my acting work. "bite sized theatre" was a musical theatre piece, my scene unseen was from RENT and Ive always found a sense of freedom when theres music.

This goes way back to my recall weekend for drama school (where around 40 applicants are auditioned and have classes to decide the next intake of acting students)...I was a bit self conscious but the moment Tom put on music I just closed my eyes and let go.

I think theres learning in that for me.

-Comparisons
I feel like this is HUGE! There are 15 other people that graduated with me. Some of them have already done some amazing work. It would be easy to get into the comparison game but I'm not really interested in that. I think this is the type of thinking that would really stop me putting on work....Ye olde Fear again...

Phew.

I thought living on two minute noodles was hard.

Please leave a comment if you read this- would love to hear your thoughts!

IPP = Independent Practice Period (for future reference)

Soooo independent practice has begun. 4 weeks of work independently!

My goals over the IPP are:

*Complete draft one of "Hit/Sparky" (Short film) Work with others on this and send parts to David Geary to get feedback. I am really investigating structure and time in this piece at the moment...I am hugely inspired by the structure of Quentin Tarantinos work. For example Reservoir dogs where Mr. Orange is shot and dying first..then we find out later how it happens and it meets up to that point again. It's really interesting that people create and star in theatre shows..I want to create and star in films! (Just like Tarantino does)

I am also doing a" Brown Ink sessions" one day workshop with Victor Rodger- I want to take some of this material as well as nuance writing.

*Write and submit (at least) one radio play to Radio New Zealand. I am trying to kill two birds here...I think I can make a radio play from the material we make for nuance, or make from what I'm discovering with "Hit/Sparky". One thing being--I love high adrenaline thriller/action type movies that keep you on the edge (I watched Black Swan last night and loved it!!....I was so freaked out I fell off the couch--true story) How can I create something like this in a radio play without it being melodramatic?

*Enter Sunday Star times short story (enter this to RNZ also) and poetry competition (late aug/late sep closing dates) Also, can double up with one submitted to RNZ although I hope to have multiple offers.

*Research, write,make material and test ideas for NUANCE "Walk a mile in our shoes"---Currently meeting up with Catherine Croft and sharing writing we have been doing based on memories that were heightened emotional experiences involving food. It's really exciting....Onto the images maps we go....

*Research Conference work ---"How do I transpose the subtlety and ease I find in screen work to theatre?"

I am watching the classics for this....So far I have watched Pulp fiction, Taxi Driver, The Deer Hunter, Reservoir Boys, The Graduate and am currently watching The Godfather Part one. Adam McCauley put me onto this as he said "How can you expect to work in an industry you're not familiar with at all?". ...So So true...So thanks Adam.

ONE IDEA: I want to know how I can be relaxed in any role in theatre whether its as a writer, deviser, outside eye or actor..How do I maintain that rigour with ease? I find this ease when working on screen because I have a very focused role and a clear container in which I can perform (Shot size etc)- Can I give myself these limitations or this sense of focus on the stage? or in the rehearsal room?

I found a sense of ease from reading/doing exercises from "The Confident performer" by David Roland- there definitely is a key idea in "focus". I was working with making sure my thoughts were task relevant before and during the show and this helped me stay present. PREPARATION is also a big one for me!

I still do want to focus in on extending what I have found onscreen.(Main focus after graduation will be screen acting) I want to cultivate and explore being able to "internalise" or bury emotion and not feel like I have to push anything...How can I explore through action and not showing?

I have just gotten out"The camera smart actor" by Richard Brestoff to help with my knowledge of screen acting technically. How can this help me relax as I gain more awareness of the process itself?

For this I am also doing the screen acting workshop with Nathalie Boltt in week four of the IPP with 7 other classmates. I spoke to her about my wishes to find ease onscreen and develop this further...I am looking forward to this :)

* Practice my work as an outside with ALT'native. (Adrian, Tawanda and Leroy)- I am really interested in the type of work they want to make as it aligns strongly with the type of work I love and spoke about earlier in the blog...HIGH OCTANE theatre.... How can I contribute with ease, but not be passive within this role? Practicing the muscle of seeing potential and feeding back about it.

*Headshots and showreels- Very practical. I want to be able to charge into the screen industry after graduation and begin auditioning. No mucking around!

Well thats me for now..I will keep this updated and keep trucking a long with my research and writing! Its really helpful to clear things up in my head like this...

YOU~! Yes you.....If YOU know of any movies I should watch or any material/companies you can refer me to as part of my research I would be hugely grateful! Contributions always welcome!

Thanks for reading :)

Te Rina

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

Week Two -Massive Company Secondment

So far I've been thinking about the 'pressures' surrounding being a performer. It's such an ephemeral thing, and so personal, that I find I start to judge myself from the work I do.

I'm just realising how much pressure I out on myself,and how much I think "You should know this, you've had two years of training"

But as I'm learning- No one has all the answers. Even the most experienced actors don't have everything 'figured out'. They test, play, try out ideas and are open to feedback ,meaning they can grow change and discover new things in the rehearsal room. Where would the fun be if you knew everything?? What would be exciting if on Day One you had decided exactly who you character is??

TO ME NOW: Drama school training plants seeds, you are introduced to some things that may not land till years later. It opens up new possibilities, introduces you to new concepts and can show you the potential you have or parts of you that maybe you cant see.

At Massive, theres a real environment that supports risk, being different and giving your all. Whether its the free dancing (One of my favorite activities this is where a song is put on, we connect with another person and dance together wholeheartedly, no rules. You get as much out of this exercise and you want to put in. )

You have the ability to let go, express yourself, show your moves and enjoy it.

ANOTHER ONE................... The Importance of Listening

I mean really listening. Being vulnerable and honestly taking in what the others are saying and letting yourself be affected. This is just as important when your speaking- How do I make sure the other person is listening? and taking in what Im saying...How do I want to affect them..Is it successful.

This is a big point I am taking with me! relating back to my research question. I can go deeper in characters/worlds, if I listen and be open to the other characters. It is between us that the world is made.

I've been working more with actors in "HAVOC in the Garden". Really getting into the text, getting an understanding of whats happening and feeding back. I'm really enjoying being this involved and discovering whats underneath this amazing text and what they can play with.

Maybe directing is something I should explore...Im getting a lot more confidence in my ability to critique! I'm going to take this back to Toi, and feel more content in knowing my ideas are valid.

(Stop thinking I SHOULD already know how to do it now-thats silly!)

Thanks for reading

T oxoxox

HAVOC at MASSIVE

Hello,

I've started my secondments in Auckland now. Started with CCMT (A musical theatre workshop for young people) . I found this was hard week because my role wasnt quite clear and ended up just watching. I did learn that I need to establish a role for myself in these situations. And just take risks and initiative like working things, being an outside eye for groups not with the director. Some of the young kids were amazing.A little girl (About 8 years old) asked a tutor"Sometimes I get really sad on stage that I actually cry. Is that normal?"
Adorable.

Im now with Massive Company and having an awesome time. Im working on "HAVOC in the garden" a show by Lennie james and Massive. There is a cast of 14 (so literally massive). Its a show about five very different groups of people. I love this script!! Im having quite a hands on/active role in this show. I am really enjoying it! there are some younger actors who havent worked with text analysis before so im helping with this, working the scenes, being an outside eye so that when they hit rehearsals with Sam they have some strong offers to take.I really love the way in which this group works! It is a family. We all just joke and have fun all day then go...hey we got heaps done!!

A big idea is coming out for me "Just play the game". I get so preoccupied with what im doing and thinking that i dont play the game within the shows Im in. I want to work more with this idea....We start the days with four square, skipping, dance offs................and other epic adventures!

There is so much PLAY , exactly what im researching.....How do I go deeper into creative process, characters and worlds?PLAY, PLAY ,PLAY (And not being so damn shy!)Wooooooooooo

Te Rina aka Tee aka TRED (Potential street name!) oxoxoxoxo