YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

Week Two -Massive Company Secondment

So far I've been thinking about the 'pressures' surrounding being a performer. It's such an ephemeral thing, and so personal, that I find I start to judge myself from the work I do.

I'm just realising how much pressure I out on myself,and how much I think "You should know this, you've had two years of training"

But as I'm learning- No one has all the answers. Even the most experienced actors don't have everything 'figured out'. They test, play, try out ideas and are open to feedback ,meaning they can grow change and discover new things in the rehearsal room. Where would the fun be if you knew everything?? What would be exciting if on Day One you had decided exactly who you character is??

TO ME NOW: Drama school training plants seeds, you are introduced to some things that may not land till years later. It opens up new possibilities, introduces you to new concepts and can show you the potential you have or parts of you that maybe you cant see.

At Massive, theres a real environment that supports risk, being different and giving your all. Whether its the free dancing (One of my favorite activities this is where a song is put on, we connect with another person and dance together wholeheartedly, no rules. You get as much out of this exercise and you want to put in. )

You have the ability to let go, express yourself, show your moves and enjoy it.

ANOTHER ONE................... The Importance of Listening

I mean really listening. Being vulnerable and honestly taking in what the others are saying and letting yourself be affected. This is just as important when your speaking- How do I make sure the other person is listening? and taking in what Im saying...How do I want to affect them..Is it successful.

This is a big point I am taking with me! relating back to my research question. I can go deeper in characters/worlds, if I listen and be open to the other characters. It is between us that the world is made.

I've been working more with actors in "HAVOC in the Garden". Really getting into the text, getting an understanding of whats happening and feeding back. I'm really enjoying being this involved and discovering whats underneath this amazing text and what they can play with.

Maybe directing is something I should explore...Im getting a lot more confidence in my ability to critique! I'm going to take this back to Toi, and feel more content in knowing my ideas are valid.

(Stop thinking I SHOULD already know how to do it now-thats silly!)

Thanks for reading

T oxoxox